Current location:	Library - Saratoga Branch
Current mood:	contemplative
Current music:	Some Prince sounding stuff from the headphones of the guy next to me

Horoscopes..
One from astrocenter was all about change. Changes in the way I view myself, viewing the changes I've made but more focusing on the future. But it was all really general. Then I go to:

Astrology.com and my Love Tarot card says this.. (mind you its not that it's happening or a situation someone PUT me in. It's me, in this whole life of mine, and I've lain it to waste on could haves and should haves be it with other people or just with me in my decisions for anything I've done. So yeah this is not just that I need to change but a bullseye as to how, and not just that self-forgiving shit either. Just assessing myself and my place in this life and how I can get up and do it. Find it and make it and then keep it. So yeah I don't know I guess I'm in a philosophical state of mind right now because lol its not that serious for this paragraph...)


The Queen of Chalices card reversed
suggests that you may have difficulty accepting love or intimacy without strings, or are tired of faking it or being exploited. Looking in the mirror and reassess the value and power you place in sex, beauty or compliance. You have much more to offer in a relationship. This habitual process of distancing yourself emotionally could be a defensive mechanism to keep from being abandoned or rejected by love again. There might not be any happiness or future in this solitary illusion or passionless situation. Take the opportunity to finally give voice to the tidal wave of hurt -- then get back out there. Start over and follow your heart. Once you meet your own emotional needs and find self-acceptance through self-forgiveness, you can let go of the past and let love in.


Yeah so enough said.....


Oh and by the way.. who were you talking about in that blog about keeping in touch with that person who you never thought saw you that way but you realized too late she did. And she died not knowing..
And who was that other blog about.. asking if the person misses or remembers certain things?

Because if it's me, then yes. Yes I think about kissing you before you leave and when you get home, yes I miss waking up and seeing your closed eyelids and your curls next to your temple. And yes... I do very much still love you (not in love) but I do love you and though I know how you feel about me, no I do not think you still view me in that way.

Damn that felt a little better..